Dr. Faustroll Writes the Wrongs

I like to pop off a few hundred rounds whenever I can, but in these desperate economic times I don’t want to seem like a profligate Republicrat or Demoblican in wasting ammo when I could be helping terminate real bad guys outside my gated community. I am not a drive-by shooter by nature. I wasn’t even raised that way. If I was genetically predisposed to be a nigga, I would be a Clarence Thomas kind of nigga, and I’d be on the Supreme Court putting pubes on my Diet Coke cans and asking the interns to pick them off with their teeth.

I understand why lower class emotional and intellectual defective constructs forced to live in terrible conditions by liberals who have always run the country would find my mocking of their use of the second amendment to poke holes in other lower class dipshits as somewhat disingenuous, even if they buttbump Sarah Palin to ask her press corps to find out what disingenuous means, but that’s not the point.

The point is there has never been a point. The universe doesn’t give a fat rat’s booty about political, economic, religious, or sexual orientation, and I give even less of a fat rat’s booty than the universe, and most of you don’t even measure on the contemptometer. I invented the contemptometer, by the way, to protect people forced to contend with the rule of law, but I failed to patent it, which is why I continue to blog.

Bungholes are bungholes and there are more bungholes on the planet than the planet can sustain. I’m willing to leave with no complaint. I have no offspring, but I am not about to adopt any of your demon spawn either.

This disconnect illustrates why the liberal media needs to convince us that people can kill themselves and bury themselves as a gesture of civic pride, I guess.

Most people are born stupid, which is what the entire Genesis story is all about, and Americans are educated to remain stupid because it makes them all feel much less miserable as they grow up and settle into lives that they wouldn’t be caught dead in if they had to off themselves to get full retirement benefits.

A couple of weeks ago someone at a stress station at one of the several places where the NOMF is making the world safe for idiocy, a non-Pat Tillman type unloaded on several of his comrades, killing at least five. He didn’t even need the second amendment to do that. Imagine being able to walk into a waiting room for therapy here in the NOMF™ with enough firepower slung over your shoulder to make the families of five other people at least consider if not fully understand your rage. That, to me, is the pinnacle of truth, justice, and the American Way!

Speaking of Pat Tillman. The guy that suspected Pat had been killed by his own men in friendly fire — whatever the fuck that means — but still recommended him for a medal because he had given up a lucrative NFL contract to get his ass killed for nothing — was recently finally fired because the NOMF needs a new way forward according to the Obamination. I am just so thrilled and tittered by this that my insignificant penis glistens with the chief ingredient of your typical high protein diet supplement.

I am not sorry for not feeling your pain. I have not yet felt most of mine, and I’m planning not to start now with Immemorial Day gone and Co-dependence Day rumbling down the pike like another noisy CGI feature designed to muffle the sounds of our spread of freedomocracy around the poisoned globe.

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