May 13 2009
Insignificant Dick Cheney emerges from burrow without shadow or doubt
And nobody seems to care. That’s the American Way!
One of the my favorite second amendment athletic supporters in the NOMF™ is former vice president in hiding Lon Cheney, who has yet to apologize for having shot Harry Whittington in the face with a shotgun in 2006 during a gun safety lesson, choosing instead to pay his hunting buddy to read a few words prepared by Turd Blossom, aka Boy Genius Rove, that went a little like this: “Accidents sometimes happen. If you don’t want to take chances, stay inside.”
Yeah, I get it. That’s the same defense AIG used to explain how their company went down the tubes for insuring worthless investments made by people who know and love Little Dick Cheney and engaged in policy group gropes during steam cell discussions while trying to keep Terri Schiavo a viable income flow for years to come.
I don’t know about you, but I am impressed by Dickie’s latest charm offensive in the liberal media when faced with a beloved nigra who can even get by with freaking out during a formal 21-gun salute in a foreign country. I’m sure everyone has seen Biraq reacting like he’d been shot, as if the world cared about him one way or the other, which stands in stark contrast to Republican heroes of the recent past, such as Dutch Reagan who let his press secretary take one in the face for him before telling his wife: “Mommy. I forgot to duck.” What a man!
It takes a real stand-up guy with a really insignificant penis that requires its own little pacemaker to proudly tell whatever liberal media professional idiot is willing to report his lameass propaganda that even though we don’t torture, and have never tortured, what we didn’t do and would never have done has made our country safer for those who need to keep shopping to display their patriotism. Kudos, Little Dick, douchebag of liberty emeritus. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m sure Robert Novak is out there somewhere, trying to agree.
Cheney, who was called Big Time (after the Limp Peter Gabriel tune of the same name) by his favorite sock puppet George Dubya Goober Bush, is also known by the Secret Service under the code-name Angler. It is not clear whether this code-name was designed to downplay Cheney’s questionable skills as a bird hunter or to suggest that he is somewhat like the deep sea fish which mates by fastening its jaws on the female and hanging on until he actually melts into the body of his mate, a vestigial sac of malignantly potent sperm infecting the oceans for centuries to come.
Among the greatest accomplishments of the Angler over the years was implementing the NOMF policy of preemptive diplomatic ejaculatory defensive posturing which enabled the Bush administration to do pretty much whatever it wanted for eight years because both foreign and domestic opposition to the horse exhaust espoused by this electronically stimulated shriveled heart of darkness could never be sure exactly which options on the table might be dusted off and shoved up its poop chute while it was sleeping.
It is clear, however, that the American people and their leadership have neither the moral compass nor the nads to round up Cheney and his goon squad to dispose of them in an ecologically sound manner, so my guess is Dickie is worried that international bounty hunters might capture some of these scumbags and their family members to stand trial for war crimes, the way the Israelis used to do before they became the same kind of scumbags they were rounding up.
So yes, it’s all a comedically vicious cycle where the victims eventually become abusers whose victims eventually become abusers whose victims become abusers until somebody finally brings on the bomb and ends the program. Can’t anyone please fix the fucking turntable?!
Of course not. The NOMF is committed to the perpetuation of poopadoodle and horse exhaust to protect the interests of those in power from those who are interested in usurping that power.
This means that less than one tenth of one percent of the world’s population is determined to hold on to what it’s got, as The Four Seasons used to sing, by convincing the 99.99% of the planet, most of which don’t happen to live in the NOMF, that it is in their best interest to support the status quo, no matter how awful and immoral it is.
Hallelujah! I think we’ve finally come to an agreement in principle!
Over the weekend, Little Dickie spurted for a typical liberal CBS news reader that critics of his policies and procedures have been neglecting its proven successes in making it safer for ordinary assholes who can keep shopping without fear of reprisal for ignoring everything that is still on the table.
Here’s what insignificant Dickie said: “I think it’s very, very important that we have a clear understanding that what happened here was an honorable approach to defending the nation, that there was nothing devious or deceitful or dishonest or illegal about what was done.”
Isn’t that the kind of guy you’d like to have it on with a sledgehammer after the war crimes trial? Hell. I think we should sponsor a national lottery to finish his worthless fat pacemaker ass on America’s Biggest Losers.
