Dr. Faustroll Writes the Wrongs

The liberal media — aka Universal Press International — is reporting that Timothy Allan Svec — who has not been charged with any crime by the either local or federal authorities — is a shooting suspect who was planning a “shooting rampage” because he had “22 handguns and rifles in his home.”

Svec, a waiter, became a shooting suspect when a couple of his co-workers, aka liberals, reported that Svec was threatening to shoot a couple of patrons and they “described him as unstable and capable of carrying out his threats.” His lawyers, however — Sebastian J. Balliro and David Seltzer — have duly noted that all of Svec’s weapons were legally purchased, protected by the second amendment, and have not yet been used in the commission of a crime.

All I can say after breathing a sigh of disgust about ongoing anti-teabagging discrimination is that Svec should be commended for keeping 22 weapons out of the hands of Mexican drug cartel thugs who are supplied almost exclusively with automatic weapons protected by the second amendment and purchased by entrepeneurial gun-runners in this wonderul NOMPH™ we began to call the Vaterland after 9/11.

Please, don’t anyone tell the Miami police about the little atomic bomb I’ve been building in my bathtub. I wouldn’t want to be called a bombing suspect on the evening news.

More second amendment heroes to add to the daily death count:

In Frisco, Texas on Saturday, William Edward Taylor used his second amendment rights to open a new avenue of communication in the head of Mary Etta Redwine before checking out of this world by blasting a door in his own skull. A tragedy was narrowly averted when police responding to the incident arrived at the wrong house and were nearly repelled by second amendment armaments at the home of the neighbor who had phoned 911 with the initial report.

This afternoon, the second amendment was used to punch several holes in the skull of a pharmacy manager in the lobby of the Long Beach Memorial Medical Center in California. The unnamed and determined defender of our constitutional right to bear arms then chased down a second man and punctuated his head and neck multiple times before telling witnesses to move along, whereupon he committed second amendment assisted suicide, which is still legal in most states. The odd thing about this story is that one of these unidentified people is listed in news reports as being in grave condition. Is that some kind of joke?

The second amendment was also used in a threat at Stephen F. Austin State University in Nacogdoches, Texas, earlier today when someone posted signs around campus saying that “10 people will be killed and shot at the grove,” implying, I guess, that dead students would be used for target practice, which is considered abuse of a corpse in Texas, against the law, and punishable, like most things in Texas, by death.

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