Apr 05 2009
I got your second amendment rights right here
Go, go, go, go
Go Johnny Cho
Go, go
Go Johnny Cho
Starting tonight, Dr. Faustroll and the Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge, and Laundromat, redoubles its efforts to laud the insignificant penises of the NOMPH™ by dedicating this site as your one stop shop for shooting deaths and other second amendment related hilarity anywhere within the terroritorial boundaries of the NOMPH. Think of this as a tribute to Little Murders and a call for the return of black comedy at dinner theatres.
This first post is a summary of notes taken over the weekend as the idea for this Second Amendment Clearing House Sweepstakes site began to form in my pataphysical mind. Henceforth, I should be able to post at least a hundred words daily, reporting the funniest shooting incidents and related Constitutionally metaphysical projectile vomiting.
Compton, CA: 3 dead, no suspects, no motive. This is news? Only three dead? Get with the program, people. It’s your right to be number one!
Pittsburgh: a guy’s mom got angry when his dog pisses on the Persian rug, so she called the cops to evict him, and he blew three of them away with an AK-47 before getting hit in the leg and surrendering. The footage of the Robocops in full battle array looked like a Ron Cobb cartoon come to life.
In St. Petersburg, Paris Whitehead-Hamilton died when more than 50 bullets from a semi-automatic weapon sprayed the house and at least one of them hit her as she was trying to get out of her bedroom. She was eight.
In Beaumont, Texas, a 41-year-old woman was being treated for a neck injury after shooting and killing her 29 year-old common-law husband. I think Texans should be allowed to shoot it out until there is only one of them left reloading.
In Binghampton, a guy laid off from IBM named Jiverly Wong or Wimberly Womberly or Johnny Cho from Idaho, apparently inspired by the Virginia Tech shootings in the dim and distant past, barricaded the back door of a community center and proceeded to kill 13 immigrants inside before making the ultimate sacrifice to freedom for himself.
In Pierce County, Washington, a man killed his five kids and himself to prevent his wife from leaving him.
It’s good to see that guns are still not killing people and people are still picking up the slack.
