Mar 12 2009
Obamination: Sea lions tortured at abu Graibh
Shocking photos began to surface today from an ongoing operation against alleged marine mammalian insurgents who have moved deep into the Columbia River in search of food that has grown increasingly scarce in their natural habitat because of overfishing and illegal wars. The photos reveal specist hatred unheard of since Western Europeans first decimated American bison populations for sport during the 1800s.
The Obama administration would likely refuse comment on this story, so we decided not to waste our time or yours in attempting to contact the White House. Instead, beginning today, we will begin publishing our unbelievable evidence of cruelty to marine mammals heretofore unheard of except during steam room conversations about how to ignore global warming and keep Terri Schiavo alive.
Tomorrow, we will provide pictures of a sea lion lynching near The Dallas, and on Sunday we will present exclusive imaginary evidence of a lethal injection given to sea lion leader Binky al Badda following a non-stop interrogation session at the Hanford Nuclear Reservation conducted by agents from Fox Broadcasting’s shark-jumping show 24 that lasted more than 72 hours.
This story is much more important than using SEO to promote our insignificant penises, and we encourage concerned readers to visit again tomorrow to learn more about the horrible actions our tax dollars are paying for and how to contact MoveOn.org and Newsmax.com to stop this madness because we’re running out of time.
Sickening, gut-wrenching, heartbreaking and disgusting. Man’s inhumanity to nature. This is worse than the porcupine crucifixions in Bagram.
I hope they enjoy the water boarding at least.
Speaking of porcupines, last night I dreamt that Rush Limbaugh was singing I Am The Walrus at the Bronx Zoo while George Steinbrenner shot arrows at him. It was such a wonderful dream I almost didn’t wake up, but I was expecting scored.
I think I’m going to compile the best of reCaptcha and call it Paradise Rogained.
I wonder if that was a dream, or a premonition?
Spooky!
May I be the first to condole you on losing employee of the month to a fucking care giving daughter, dude. You finished dead last, dude. You have fucking been pwnd!
I was almost went to jail for an employee of the month campaign. It’s been decades. I think it’s time to go for it again!
Excluding 10. Who do you think those ten are? As if I fucking care.
Buwahaha.
Well, when you live in a world of zombies and cowards you learn not to harbor high expectations.
I’ve never been employee of the month, but once I was fired for shoving a whole loaf of bread in my mouth and trying to talk to a customer.
ps: I voted for myself nine times. I also nominated myself, I’m really you.
I suspected as much. My delusions are having delusions. I once shoved a whole customer into my mouth while making bread, which may be a figure of speech, or what’s a metaphor?
Oh God, recaptcha is currently sponsored by a rental Sambo.
I’d never have the stamina to shove a customer in my mouth, I always fall short stopping they.
Start with the little annoying customers and toast them first. Who the fuck was Allan President?
Good advice. I think I’ll try shoving a customer up his own ass instead.
Uncanny. My next post is about fashion and asshats in particular.
You see, your crapcha isn’t retarded. I await the post with masturbated breath.