Dr. Faustroll Writes the Wrongs

In yet another stunning development in the bizarre tale of the serial mother who gave birth to octuplets last month, Dr. Otto Octavius of the Fantastic Fourtility Clinic in Loma Linda, California was named yesterday in a civil law suit brought by the Marvel Comics group for inappropriate use of company trademarks and copyright infringement stemming from his recent name change.

Dr. Octavius (nee Mengele) has not been seen in recent weeks, leading some to speculate that the former Roy Orbison impersonator has fled the country. Sightings of the eugenicist have been reported in Jamaica, Abu Dhabi, Shanghai, and Djibouti where he owns an embryo farm, a yogurt company, and several nightclubs.

Marvel was not contacted for comment on this imaginary report and could neither confirm nor deny its legendary determination to defend its intellectual property rights against anyone and everyone, including God, whom Stan Lee allegedly considers a lesser superhero in the Marvel cosmos.

Meanwhile, Nadya Guevara has returned to seclusion two days after the Today interview that was used as evidence for seizing her children. Her mother, who spoke on condition of anonymity, says her daughter is heartbroken and shocked over revelations that one or more of her offspring may have had inappropriate sexual contact with siblings during gestation.

“This is really tearing her up inside,” the unidentified grandmother to the octokids said, “which may not be a bad thing, all things considered.”

E-mails to National Public Radio concerning possible trademark issues in the previous paragraph have not yet been sent and probably won’t be except in response to an actual complaint, which is unlikely.

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