Jan 31 2009
Octuplet mom to become Latter Day Saint
Citing deteriorating economic conditions and negative approval ratings, a unnamed spokes-midwife for Dody Decker-Hedron, the serial mother who recently gave birth to six boys and two girls on January 27, says the 33-year-old unmarried virgin is considering induction into the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS) who have offered her the support of five husbands in exchange for the use of her womb as a polygamist shrine.
Decker-Hedron has come under increasing derision since it was revealed that she is unmarried, lives with her mother, and has six previous children, including twins, all allegedly the products of extraterrestrial artificial insemination. The girls, aged two to seven, are of undetermined racial origin and named after children of 20th century U.S. presidents: Barbara, Jenna, Chelsea, Caroline, Patti, and Amy.
According to unconfirmed reports from disinformants on the Internet, Ms. Decker-Hedron intends to also name her new children, all of whom have a single donor from a nearby star cluster, after presidential offspring: John-John, Neil, Jeff, Jeb, Chip, Michael, Malia, and Sasha.
Malia and Sasha are currently the most popular names on the planet with nearly 2 in 3 newly born children (as well as many recently discovered subatomic particles) being named after the first black children to live in the White House since Sally Hemmings.
