Jan 05 2009
Bushapropyl Bushapropisms
Born again dry alcoholics, like dandruff on my shoulders, nearly always make me high.
The liberal media has always been kind to the world’s most powerful developmentally disabled leader of the NOMPH™. Back in 1998 and 1999, I remember transcribing actual video of this Ubu in action and wondering how anyone would let the guy run a dry-cleaning business, much less a major league baseball team or a third-world country as inept and forgettable as we were fast-becoming back then. And that was before we became irrelevant!
You remember. When all the neocondi schoolyard bullies were screaming on talk radio about how great any spontaneous ejaculation they spewed was so much better than peace, love, and understanding? Not that anyone gives much of Hershey squirt about peace, love, and understanding today, but it is sometimes good to remember that the world did really exist more than one season of American Idol ago, and that Dancing With The Stars would have been dismissed as gay folderol by Rush Limp-Paws had it been introduced a decade ago.
Clinton may have kept tripping over his penis during his administration, but at least the guy knew that if you were going to use your tongue for something other than sex, you shouldn’t keep stepping on it.
Prior to the invasion of Iraq to avenge the insult to President Stupid the First, I made a couple of changes in a portion of Goober’s misstatement of the union address in 2003 and after several years as the top Google result when looking for sample satire or clicking Feeling Lucky from the Google home page for the same search words, orphaned versions of my original Uncommon Sense post still appear in the top 2-5 results on what is the universal search engine with the most vacuum talent since Herbert Hoover or Linda Lovelace, neither of which is currently profiting from that Internet-adapted feature.
If anyone in the professional media had bothered to quote this pathetic scumbag accurately over the past eight years, we wouldn’t now have to be subjected to the obnoxious reality that we will one day be taxed to build this idiot a library to house his 9/11 copy of My Pet Goat, along with several tons of top-secret documents and highly redacted public releases that reveal his incompetence, such as the Presidential Daily Briefing from August 9, 2001, which Condi Rice glibly defended in Congress as vague and confusing, despite its subject tag of “Al Qaeda poised to fly commercial jets into American targets.” You don’t really want to know what the redacted subtitles were, do you? Do you, punks?
As the mainstream media continues to argue that this man’s personality is going to shape his legacy, don’t forget that you have signed on to support that legacy as a nation of morons, petty thieves, and genocidal serial killers and mass murderers who never even had to dip your fingers in purple ink to prove how stupid you really are.
When Biraq Hussein Osama decides to attack Israel in ten days to signal a change in U.S. policy and announce an end to the arrogant, bestial corruption of the Bush administration, if you are surprised, you better have stocked up on soap.
