Dr. Faustroll Writes the Wrongs

He’s been pretty orderly about destroying the rest of the world. Why shouldn’t he have the opportunity to 86 the auto industry and the last bastion of union solidarity in the NOMPH™ during the waning days of his lame dick presidency? This could be his one real chance to cement a lasting legacy for his place in history as the absolutely worst developmentally disabled Decider in Chief of the NOMPH on the POMPH.

Of course, if you are one of the approximately 22% of American workers who depend upon the American auto industry to keep on keeping on, I’m glad I’m not you. Wouldn’t want to be you, especially if you haven’t yet discovered how closely your worth is tied to the productivity of American autoworkers who have been consistently buttphucked over the past two decades for continuing to make hourly wages on the order of .002% of the executives who have managed to drive the American economy into a ditch and then get on their cell phones begging to be rescued so they can ask for bailouts.

Michael Moore is against the originally proposed bailouts. He suggests that the American taxpayers buy the damn companies for less than what they are asking for in loans. Why doesn’t some elected official even consider looking at the proposal? Is it because Michael Moore is a big fat doody-head?

My own position has always been to bring on the bomb. It would annoy me, of course, if some terrorist group without any ties to the NOMPH detonated it, which is why I have been arguing for at least 20 years that the American people should institute a program where really angry people who find cynicism entirely too positive an attitude can adopt nukes that they have already paid for, that their parents paid for (and in some cases, their grandparents), and nobody down on the Walmart sales floor, mopping up blood after a Christmas shopping stampede, has yet to experience a single joy over.

Back when Flipper Reagan proposed the MX missile shield, I volunteered to shelter one of the homeless warheads in the attic of my own rent-subsidized abode. I argued that the best defense system would give any American who wanted one a complete MX missile installation with launcher and occasional security patrol so that our enemies would never have a clue which home on the satellite grid might suddenly launch a salvo of ICBM nukes and peace would break out all over the world. At last. Good God almighty, we gots peace at last!

In exchange for caring for and nurturing these weapons of mass liberation, patriots would be allowed to operate the warheads as power generating stations and charge their neighbors for back up power when their perpetually incompetent big power grid went tits up for days at a time.

My suggestion was roundly hooted down because I did not require psychological screening for nuke foster parents, although the same dickweeds refused to provide me with any evidence that any such screening was required of public political candidates. I don’t want to mention any names, but there are certain people who should never be trusted with the red phone, but are. That’s the rule of law for you.

So there you have it. The lameduck Fubar Ubu of the Untied States of America has decided that he can sell off the big three auto manufacturers to some unnamed foreign investors in the Middle East and Asia who are probably willing to grant him asylum when the war criminal bounty hunters come looking to hand-cuff and perp walk his ignorant arrogant butt out on the tarmac come January 20, 2009.

I’m compiling a list of his relatives and close personal friends to provide to those who handle these things. Join me at huntingdowngwbushandhisgenepool.org to ensure this slippery slope never becomes an ethnic slur.

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