Nov 01 2008
Invest in the lottery, like the Chinese
I remember listening to a report on NPR’s The World some months ago in which several ordinary Chinese expressed the opinion that investing in stocks and mutual funds was too big a gamble. Playing the lottery was cheaper and safer.
Considering the recent economic theme park ride in the NOMF™, I suspect the Chinese may have it right.
Consider this, if your 401K or IRA had $300 thousand in it two months ago and is now worth half that, at best, it will take you 10 years of maximum contributions of $15K a year to recapture your losses, and then you have no guarantee that the market isn’t going to tank again before you can tap into your savings, assuming you live long enough. The cheesiest pundits among us are now predicting that returns on investments for the next decade will not be much better than buying CDs at your local soon-to-be-bailed-out bank or credit union.
When you really stop and think about it, there isn’t much difference between the disclaimers for lotteries and those for investment funds. Here’s one I found for lotteries: “VLTs are programmed to pay out less than they take in over time. Playing any type of Oregon Lottery® game should be considered a form of entertainment and should not be played for investment purposes.”
Compare that with a standard fund disclaimer at your 401K or IRA provider: “This fund is not protected by the FDIC. Although we make every effort to ensure that deposits remain at their original value, it is possible to lose some or all of your investment, and you may do this several times during the tenure of your relationship with our company.”
To this humorous picture, add the fact that most Americans, even those most terrified by McCain’s assertions that Obama is going to raise taxes on the wealthiest Americans, which in McCain’s damaged brain apparently includes everyone not currently on welfare, cannot afford to contribute the $15K maximum because they are not earning $100K a year at MacDonald’s, even as a middle manager. And what we have is a nation of miserable fucks so buried in the poot of their own poor toilet training that the only way out is to stop spreading wealth to the rich. Get out of investing. Stop buying stocks and bonds. Play the lottery, like the Chinese.
Imagine if you spent half the 401K limit annually buying lottery tickets. That’s roughly $150 a week. Most lotteries put their profits into public works projects, so even when you don’t win, you’re not losing, whereas most investments benefit only greedheads and gated community bimbos whose idea of civic responsibility is choosing between tipping the waitress or giving a quarter to the homeless dude begging out front.
Seriously, I heard this very explanation on NPR when a poopadoodle operative was attacking Obama’s suggestion that the country needs to work a little more like a team and a lot less like a dictatorship of wealth and power hungry Christian nihilists. Yep. Obama’s idea of making the rich pay a little more for the luxury of having the extra rights Republicans have given them over the years was equated to taking money from underpaid fast food workers whose minimum wage is considered too high by the current leadership and giving it to people who don’t have anything at all.
If I could have reached through the radio and grabbed that dumb McCain/Palin apologist by the throat, I would have verified whether idiots do indeed taste like chicken.
